Monday, February 11, 2019

Trespassing on my Territory

I like to think that I post less frequently because I'm doing so well with my grieving and don't have a lot new to say but the truth is more like "I'm tired of being a bereaved mother and I don't want to think about it any more" except ignoring it doesn't really seem to be working.  I am still here, working it out, and occasionally having moments when it's just as hard as it's ever been.

So, on to my topic, two incidents.  This first one is just going to sound petty but here we go:

I was really surprised to see the Democratic women wearing white to the State of the Union address last week.  My first thought, honestly, was "where did they find all the white suits?" and my second was "Why?"  Google supplied the answer to the why--they were apparently honoring the suffragettes who had campaigned until they won the right to vote for women.  Now, American Gold Star Mothers wear white to official events, and I've even worn a white suit in that very chamber of Congress as an invited guest in the gallery.  We are often referred to as the "ladies in white" and, while I hate being that conspicuous, it does make us easy to identify and locate in large crowds.  To see this other group of women wearing white for a whole different cause was sort of jarring.  I realize they have every right to do so but I felt a little devalued by their demonstration.  They almost certainly had no idea of this other meaning of wearing white, few people do, but a little research might have avoided some hurt feelings.  (However, a cursory search in Google on "ladies in white" or women in white reveals several meanings, none of them having to do with Gold Star mothers.  Maybe Google needs to get its act together too.)

And then a much more personal violation.  Someone used my email address, the one I created when I started this blog, to reserve a hotel room for three nights in Montego Bay.  I called the chain in question and explained my concern and they acted very quickly to make sure that no credit card had been involved.  The address does refer to my status as a mother who has had a loss and the customer service representative picked up on that immediately. So there I was once again explaining Thomas to a very kind stranger.   No harm seems to have been done to me or any of my accounts but I'm not happy that someone used an email I created for this very specific, not easy, purpose.




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2 Comments:

At November 13, 2019 at 6:38:00 AM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lee Ann,

I was in 1-24 Infantry from 2002-2006 and knew Thomas. We weren't in the same company, but I got to know him pretty well when we were training in Ft. Knox in the summer of 2004, because we were roommates in the barracks.

Every Veterans day I think back to that day in Mosul and hearing the news. While Thomas wasn't in the same company as me, in those 3 months at Ft. Knox he had a lasting impact on the Soldiers in our company and many of us took the news incredibly hard.

He was a great person. It had to be hard on him during those 3 months of training because his company (I think it was Bravo) had split in half for the training and he got sent to our PLT. He was roomed with myself and one other and was pretty quiet. The thing I remember most about Thomas was he was very kind and giving. When he would leave to go hand out with his other Bravo company buddies, me and my roommate would sneak the food he had bought and eat it! I know, we were jerks. I remember one day he came in and saw we had eaten half of the sweets and told us we could help ourselves whenever we liked. Instead of getting angry, he offered us more.

Thomas will always be in my thoughts. You and your family will always be in my prayers. Your son was an amazing guy! I hope this finds you and your family well.

Thank you for your time!

If you would like to reach out my email is jeremyfricke@aol.com. Please feel free to if you would like.

-Jeremy Fricke

 
At December 27, 2021 at 11:51:00 AM PST , Blogger Lee Ann said...

I just sent an email response to Jeremy, basically two years late. This is the story of my life normally, and the last two years particularly. I love hearing about Thomas, and I love that even all of this long afterwards, we still learn things about him.

 

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