You know, I have to go back and edit my last entry. Thomas was always on my left side at the table. I have a little left/right disorientation which is usually not a big problem (I always have a 50% chance of being correct!) but does make driving an adventure some days. Thomas always sat on my left side at church too. These days, his grandmother is usually at my left. Though I always know it is her when we are holding hands during the Our Father, I always feel like Thomas is there too. He's just kind of present to me during that part of the liturgy . . .

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January, 2005. Richard, for whatever reason, got tickets to the presidential inauguration. If it had taken place at a stadium, we would have been in the nosebleed zone. We were conflicted about going, it was cold, no one cared if we were there or not except the fellow who had given Richard the tickets, but we went anyway. We had to split up for some reason and Maria and I got the better seats. I don't remember much except that I wore the beautiful new coat I'd bought at Lord & Taylor, on sale (Anna was working there). We saw a young Marine in dress uniform, on crutches and minus a foot. Maria started crying because we would have taken Thomas back in any condition at all. A foot gone, at least that day, didn't seem so bad (and if any amputees are reading this, please know that we understand that it is very tough to adjust, physically and mentally, to life when a piece of you is missing. We were just in a place where we wanted him back under any circumstances).