I decided I needed a new look. It's kind of a radical change from my the old blog look and I'm not sure the pictures made it through (I can't remember which posts had pictures at the moment). Also seem to have lost the sitemeter which may or may not be a good thing. It's not as if I ever had a huge number of people reading--mostly it was to see who was still reading and whether putting some mention of my blog somewhere would boost readership. I'll see how this goes.



It's been a long couple of months--my mother-in-law just finished her third stint in the hospital and is now in rehab. I'm tired. It's not quite as emotionally trying as Thomas's death, but it has some relationship to it.

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I just spent an hour listening to people talking about sacrifice in relation to the Global War on Terror on the Diane Rehm show. I'm sorry--that was about the most sanitized discussion that I've heard on this war, and the comments posted online varied from hostile (to the war and servicemembers) to incoherent. The panelists did not really get to say much of substance, I think because there were too many of them for anyone to be able to get into his or her subject in depth so there was a kind of glancing reference to a lot of issues. I don't think much of anyone has a clue about how the Gold Star families are coping or not coping. Most people do not seem to realize that as parents we don't get any further privileges (since Thomas was not married, we did get his life insurance money and any other assets he left behind)--we don't get to use commissaries or enter bases without inspection, though the inspection may change in part for the Army families. Initially, we had no support from the armed services beyond our casualty assistance officer, who was only legally with us for 90 days (she did stick with us much longer). Survivor Outreach services exist now, but we have not spoken directly with them despite a couple of phone messages left on our voicemail (and yes, I tried calling back). A few nonprofit organizations like TAPS support families in grief, but it does seem like the nation might be interested as well . . .

This may all sound bitter and angry but really I am not. A lot of other people are. It really is time to start looking very carefully at the fallout from these conflicts.