Saturday, October 18, 2014

Fall Day Reflections

It was a gorgeous fall day today.  It's harder to love the fall now--it seems like a countdown to Thomas's anniversary every time.  A cruel trick that the weather is so lovely, the trees so golden, the air so crisp and fresh.  This morning as I walked Kolbe, a dog who was made for autumn weather, the wind kicked up.  We were walking under the trees, leaves rustling away and floating down singly from the incredibly blue sky, and remembering a day, maybe 20 years ago, when Thomas was playing soccer on an equally amazing day.  A field full of ten-year-olds who had won their game, unexpectedly maybe:  a breeze came up and shook leaves down like confetti.  A formation of jets flew over, not knowing that they'd joined the celebration.  Little boys who looked like they'd found their slice of heaven.
No jets today, but the sky was back.  Yes, it really was that blue, maybe even deeper.  A promise that  beauty has not left the world, even if it broke my heart.

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